LOVEverblooming

昨晩から今朝までまた雪が沢山積もったけれど、今日は一日中すっごくいいお天気でお出かけ日和だったの

富山ではAiが小さかった頃は40ｃｍとか50ｃｍの積雪はよくあったけれど、ここ最近は多くても10ｃｍか20ｃｍくらいしか積もっていなかったから、今冬の積雪量にはびっくり

それで、パパがなんだかものすっごい長い棒を持って、屋根の雪を降ろしていて、それがとても楽しそうに見えたからAiもやってみたの思った通り楽しかったけれど、終わった後は前進雪まみれでした（笑）

でもやっぱり寒い季節は苦手だから、暖かい春が待ち遠しいよぉ
clearing snow



Since last night, it had snowed so much till this morning again. But today, it was very fine and clear so I enjoyed going out with my parents ;-)

Here in Toyama, it was natural that we have lots of snow about 40 or 50 centimeters but in recent years, we have 10 or 20 centimeters of snow at the most. That's why we got very surprised to see all of things covered with lots of snow!!

And when I saw Dad was removing snow from our house's roof with a very long bar, I felt it was lots of fun so I also tried it LOL! As I thought I really enjoyed it and snow covered my body and face! XD

Well, though snow scapes are so beautiful and fantastic, I really hate cold season so I can't wait for brilliant and warm spring!

Tonight, my classmate of our university suddenly called me to tell me very important things.

In fact, we were good friends before I got to have eating disorder, depression, panic disorder and so on. But since I started to suffer from these illnesses, I became to be estranged from her because when I talked about my illness and worries, she said something cold and then I didn't talked with her...

Of caurse, I was hurt by her sharp words but she also had had big regrets for not having helped me. Therefore, she decided to apologize to me tonight.

As I never expected that she would call me, I got very surprised to hear her voice!! She said to me,"I'm very very sorry for not having been kind to you in spite that you were my good friend..." As we haven't talked about 5 or 6 years, we couldn't talk with each other very well.

But soon later, we were able to enjoy talking about various things such as our campas life, how we've been getting along and so on :)

Though it cast so many years for us to become good friends again, I'm so happy we can talk frankly with each other!!

Well, human relations are so fragile and change very easily but I do believe we can make much more wonderful relationships as long as we have strong will to be good human relations. It needs lots of effort to have reliable human relations so we have to keep thinking of each other.

Anyway, I thought she had great courage to apologize to me though we haven't talked for a long years!! I do think we can keep in touch again and can be good friends again!!

今日はママと色んな所へお出かけして、沢山あった用事も済ませられてホッと一安心

まずはAYURAで、新作のパウダーファンデーションと化粧下地や入浴剤を買ってきたの

Aiの肌は乾燥肌だから、今までリキッドファンデしか使わなかったんだけど、今回発売されたパウダーファンデは筆でお肌に付けるっていうものだったから、「これはリキッドファンデ付けた後でも使えるこういうファンデ欲しかったー」って思って久しぶりにパウダーファンデを買ってみたの

新しい化粧品を買うとスキンケアやメイクがいつも以上に楽しくなって嬉しいな

そして午後からは病院に行って、診察とカウンセリングAiの体調が安定しているから主治医もカウンセラーさんも安心したみたい

カウンセラーさんが「Aiちゃんに編み物で分からないところ教えて欲しいんだぁ…編み図を見てても分からなくって」ってお願いしてきてくれたから、編み物しながら色々お話してきたの

Aiが趣味で楽しんでやってい事が誰かの役に立てて、なんだかとっても嬉しかったなぁ

ちなみに今日のキャミとアームウォーマーはお揃いで編んだものなの
In my handmade camisole and arm warmers!

Cosmetics of AYURA


Today, I went to a department store to enjoy shopping :-) I really love watching and looking for cosmetics which suit me!

I didn't like powder foundertion because my skin condition was always dry so I always used liquid foundation since it made my skin condition moistly.

However, my favorite cosmetics brand named AYURA produced moist powder foundation which I'd wanted to use!! Therefore, I tried on it at AYURA shop and bought it and other products! XD Shopping is lots of fun!!!

And then, I went to the clinic to see the doctor and the counselor. Since I told them that my condition was calm and I was doing well while knitting various things, they seemed to be relieved :) My counselor showed in my knitting, she prepared knitting goods to ask me how to knit everyday LOL. At that time, I started to knit a small corsage while chatting with her and soon later I finished it so she got surprised that I knitted very quickly.

Then she sayd to me, "I also wanna challenge knitting so please teach me hoe to do it from now on, too!!" As I heard that, I got very happy I can help others doing my favorite thing!!

Well, though I was busy because I had many places to go and to do, I had lots of fun and had a wonderful day ♪

今日はパパとママと一緒に「インカ帝国のルーツ　黄金の都シカン展」を観に行ってきたの

インカ帝国が滅亡する以前に、金属の加工技術に長けた文明が存在していた事を知って驚いたし、何よりも日本人の考古学者がこのシカン文化を発見した事にびっくりしたの

Aiは歴史は得意じゃないけれど、謎に包まれた古代文明にはすっごく興味があるから、沢山の煌びやかな出土品を見て色々思いをめぐらせていたの

この地球の全ての歴史を知ることは出来ないけれど、まだまだ解き明かされていないこの世界の謎に触れるたびに、この世に生まれてきたことの奇跡に気付いたり、生きている事の存在意義や将来どうしていくべきなのかって事を考えられるから、解けない謎がある方が何もかも知ってしまうよりとっても素敵なんだなぁって思うんだぁ
I'm very curious of mysterious ancient civirization!!



Today, I went to a museum to watch "Precursor of the Inka Empire The Golden Capital of SICAN" with my parents in the afternoon.

I got very excited to know there was a wonderful and gorgeous civirization before the fall of the Inka Enpire! And what's more, I was so surprised that a Japanese archaelogist discovered the fact!!

As I do love mysterious our acient mysterioous civirizations and culutures, I really had a exciting time to watch gorgeous and great digs ;-)

Though we can't know all of our planet's history, I think it's fantastic to have mysteries of our world because they give us lots of chances to realize it's miraculous to live in this world, to think about the meaning of our living, to find out what we have to do in the future and so on!

That's why I believe it'll be much more interesting to have mysteries of our world than to know all things! XD

Aiがたぁくんと遊ぶ時は、いつもHONERのハーモニカを持っていって吹いてあげてるの音にあわせて一生懸命体を動かして楽しんでる姿がかわいかったぁ

それとタンバリンもお気に入りで、歌いながら一緒に叩いたり、手に持ったりしてご機嫌

赤ちゃんの成長って本当に早くてびっくりベビーシッターをしていた時も赤ちゃんたちの成長の早さに驚いていたけれど、こうやってたまに会うと更に驚きの連続

日々できる事が増えていって嬉しいし、元気にすくすく育っていってくれている事に感謝感謝

また今度会える日が待ち遠しいなぁ
Souta grows up very quickly!!







Souta is growing up very well day by day and he loves music so I played the harmonica and a tambourine with him ;-)

I got so happy to see he showed lots of intrests in various things and smiled very lovely ? His admirable growth makes us very surprised and gives us lots of happiness :)

These 2 days, I gained so much energy through playing with him ☆ I do hope he'll grow up healthy and learn many many things little by little from now on, too!!

I'm really looking forward to see him again and watch what he can do! XD

昨日と今日は従妹のえみちゃんとたぁくんと一緒にいっぱい遊んだり、お話したりしてすっごく楽しかったぁ

たぁくんは脚の力は物凄く強いんだけど、お腹と腕の筋肉がまだ弱いみたいだったから寝返りやお座り、首をしっかり持ち上げられるように練習させてきたの

ハイハイもまだまだなのに、脚の力が強いから、早く自分で立って歩きたいみたい（笑）

何はともあれ、すくすく元気に育ってくれてる事が一番幸せ今日はお疲れなので、また明日更新しまぁす
Lovely smiles!





I spent yesterday and today playing and talking with my cousin and her baby!! As you know I love babies, I had a wonderful and happy time!! XD

He's now 5 months old so he smiles and talks a lot, which makes us so happy and enjoyable ♪

This time, I had him practice sitting by himself and turning from side to side in bed since he hasn't had enough power to receive his own body. But his legs have very strong and he always wants to stand up before crawling LOL!!

Anyway, I was very very glad to see them and get relieved to know he grows up healthy ❤

Well, I'm really looking forward to see his growth next time!! He looks like an angel for me and his relatives ☆

Oh, Souta is now so heavy to hold in my arm for a long time so I felt a little tired LOL! Therefore, I'll write what I played with him tomorrow!

今日は、１週間ほど前から試行錯誤を重ねて何度も編み直していたキャスケットが完成したの

いつもAiの事を気にかけてメールしてくれたりプレゼントやカードを送ってくれている、アメリカのお友達Jackに何か手作りのものをプレゼントしたいなぁって思って作ったの

早く送って、気に入ってもらえたら嬉しいな

それとパパのベストも着々と完成に近づいてるのパパはお腹がポニョだし、身長も高いからとってもビッグサイズで編むのが大変無事完成しますよぉに

そして明日と明後日は従妹とその息子たぁくん（5ヶ月）に会いにママの実家に遊びに行ってきますどれくらい成長してるか楽しみだし、従妹ともガールズトーク楽しんでこようっと
A hat for Jack

It'll be near complecation!


SInce a week ago, I started to knit a hat for my dear friend Jack and today, I fainally finished making it :)

As he always takes care of me and send me wonderful gofts and cards and so on, so I wanted to make gift for him by myself to explain my gratitude toward him ? I hope it'll arrive at his house ASAP and that he'll like it!

And now I'm knitting a dark green vest for Dad ;-) Because he's a little fat and tall, I have to make extra large sized one; in other words, I have to knit a lot!! It'll must be the biggest work of all my works which I've ever made!!

BTW, tomorrow I'll go to Mom's parents' house to see my cousin and her baby, Souta! He's now 5 months old so I'm looking forward to see his growth! XD And I'll enjoy girls talk with my cousin, too!!

I'm very excited to enjoy playing and talking with them tomorrow and the day after tomorrow ♪

昨日、ママと話していた時にAiが「余った毛糸でアームウォーマー編もうと思ってるの」って言ったら、「じゃあ、ポンチョとお揃いの色で私も欲しいな」ってリクエストがあったから早速作ってみたの

予想していたよりもとっても可愛らしい模様編みで、Aiもママもお気に入り

そして午後からはお買い物に出かけて、毛糸がセールでとっても安かったのでママと一緒に大量に仕入れてきたの売り場に飾ってあったニットに一目惚れしちゃって、「Ai、これ編んで欲しいなぁ」って言われから「うん、いいよ♪」って安請け合いしちゃったけれど、後で編み図を見たらめちゃくちゃ細かくて複雑だったから、ちゃんと編めるかちょっと心配

それと、来月にはバレンタインデーがあるなぁって気付いたから、パパに何か編んでプレゼントしようと思って、何が欲しいか聞いたら「ボタンの付いたザックリ羽織れるベストがいいかなぁ」って事で、初めてメンズウェアに挑戦する事にしたの

ザイズ合わせるのが一番難しいと思うけれど、頑張って完成させたいな

CUte arm warmers and poncho for Mom



Yesterday, when I was talking with Mom, I said to her,"I'm thinking about to knit arm warmers next :)" then she asked me to knit the ones with using the same color's wool of poncho I made some days ago.

Therefore, I made them for her before knitting my arm warmers ;-) I'm so satisfied to see the finished products because they became much more lovely than I had expected!! Also, Mom got happy to get them ?

And this afternoon, I went shopping with Mom to buy lots of wool to knit various things ♪ Especially, I'll knit a vest for Dad as Valentine gift! XD I've never challenged making men's wear so I'm a little worried whether I would make it wonderfully or not... But I'lll do my best to complete it!

Well,I still have many many things to knit so I wish a day were much longer LOL!! I do wanna spent all time with knitting LOL!

今日は2週間ぶりのお医者さんだったから、度々胸（胃？）に空気が溜まって苦しいけど、編み物に熱中して楽しく毎日を過ごせている事をお話してきたの

1日の大半を編み物に費やしているから、主治医もカウンセラーさんも「肩凝りにならない」って心配してた不思議と肩凝りはほとんどないけれど、やっぱり目を使うから集中して没頭して編み物してると、気付いたら目がすっごく疲れてるの

そして今日ようやくキャミソールが完成したの編み方は簡単なんだけれど、Aiの体にフィットするように小さく作るのがちょっと頭を使って大変だったかなでも頑張った分、ちゃんとした作品に仕上がって嬉しい

編み物しながら、「次は何編もうかなぁ」って考えてるくらいだから、当分編み物熱は収まらなさそう（笑）

My handmade camisole


I went to the clinic to see the doctor and to take counseling in the morning. I talked that I was suffering from chocking but really enjoy everyday with knitting!

Then both of my doctor and counselor asked me whether I had a stiff neck or not LOL! Though I sometimes feel tiredness of my eyes, I don't have a stiff neck a s I use good cushions :)

And this evening, I finally finished knitting a camisole ? It took a little long time to make it suit me and I'm so happy it became my taste and fit perfectly! XD

As I'm improving my skills of knitting more and more, I get to wanna chalenge difficult works which I never challenged ♪

Well, I feel I'm so blessed to find my wonderful hobby this winter ;-)

今日、大学時代の友達のゆうこが、このブログを見てAiの体調を心配してメールを送ってきてくれたの

大学2年、3年の時は摂食障害やうつ病がひどかった時期で、なかなか大学に行けなかったり、行っても途中で体調悪くなって早退したりする事が多くて、Aiが授業についていけるように何人かの友達がノート取ってくれたり、課題について教えてくれたりして沢山サポートしてくれていたのそして、その中の一人がゆうこだったの

とっても優しい友達に恵まれて幸せだったし、今でもこうしてお互いの事を気にかけて連絡取り合えているのはものすっごく嬉しい

なかなか会えないのは寂しいけれど、離れていてもお互いを思いやれる友達がいる事に感謝の気持ちでいっぱいいつかまた会える日が来るのが楽しみだなぁ

あ、話は変わってママのために編んでいたポンチョがようやく完成したのグレーだから結構いろんな色に合わせやすいし、ママも気に入ってくれたみたいで、根気強く編んでよかったぁ

A cute poncho for Mom


Today, my dear friend Yuko who studied with me at our university sent me e-mailssince she got worried about me to read this blog.

When I was an univesity student, I wasn't able to join classes because of some symptoms of depression. Therefore, I asked her and other friends to tell me what they learned and what I had to write papers. They understood my situation and were so kind to me that they always supported me to get credits to graduate the university!!

I really thank them and I'm very happy we keep in touch with each other still now!! I'm so blessed with good friends who have me in their mind ♪

After we graduated out university, we can't meet so much because we live various places. Someday. I do wanna meet my friends again and talk about our lives ❤

Oh! Finally, I finished knitting a poncho for Mom!! She got pleased to wear it and I was also happy to see her smile ;-)

昨晩は凄く胸が苦しくて、結局朝まで眠れなかったんだぁ

不眠は慣れているから気にならないけれど、胸の苦しさや息苦しさはとっても厄介パニック障害の症状なのか、呑気症の症状なのかイマイチよく分からない

それで、眠れなくて暇だったから編み物したり、春・夏用のショートボレロのデザインをしたりして時間をつぶしていたの色んな編み図がネットで公開されているから、色々な編み図を参考にしてデザインしたの

今編んでいる冬物のお洋服が編みあがったら、早くサマーニット編みたいな

そうそう、昨日は珍しくいいお天気で綺麗な青空が見れてすごく幸せな気分になれたの富山の冬は曇りか雨か雪で、どんよりしたお天気が続くから、こうやって久しぶりに青空を見ると清清しい気分になれて嬉しかったなぁ
Beautiful winter view

I designed summer knit


Last night, I wasn't able to sleep at all because of chocking :-( I don't care imsomnia since I've experienced it many many times before. But I feel so bad when I suffer from this symptom... I don't know whether it comes from panic disorder or aerophagy...

Therefore, I had enough time to do what I like and I enjoyed knitting till this morning.

And I got to knit a bolero and shawl for spring and summer so I searched some patterns and I desined what I wanna wear while refering to them ;-) After I finish knitting a poncho, a camisole and baby dress of wool, I'll start knitting spring and summer wear of cotton!!

I'm really looking forward to making what I designed ☆

BTW, it was so fine last Sunday that I was very happy to see the beautiful view covered with white snow!! Itmade me feel so cheerful because it's very rare that we can see blue sky in winter here in Toyama!

雑誌MAQUIAの応募で当選したみたいで、1週間前にLUSHのバスグッズが送られてきたの

LUSHの商品の事は知っていたけれど、使ったことはなかったから素敵なギフトを頂いてすごく嬉しかったぁ

有名なバスボムはお風呂のお湯をなめらかにしてくれて、お肌がしっとりすべすべになってお気に入り多分頂いたの使い切ったらまた買うだろうなぁ

寒い冬は暖かいお風呂でのーんびりゆっくり過ごすのが一日の中で一番幸せ気分に合わせて入浴剤やボディソープを選ぶのも楽しい

Bath goods of LUSH



A week ago, I got wonderful bath goods from LUSH because I won it as a prize :-)

Though I never had used its products, I was very happy to get it since I knew the company and its produsts?

And I got tot love its Bath Bombs because their perfume was so good and they make our skin so moistly! XD Maybe I'll buy some of them after I use all of them I got!

Well, bath time is our good relaxation in winter and I really enjoy various bath goods to take care of my body and to make me feel relaxed ♪

Oh, I wanna go to some hot springs to enjoy spa!! Onsen(Hot spring) is a wonderful place to go in such a cold day!!

とうとう今週末はセンター試験だね雪が降っていて大変そうだから受験生の皆さんは体に気をつけて頑張ってくださいね

ちなみにAiがセンター試験を受けた時も大雪で大変だったんだぁ

さてさて、6年前にベビーシッターをしていたもえちゃんが中学受験を控えているから、無事受験を乗り切れるよう祈りを込めてお守りを作ったの携帯ストラップならいつでも持ち歩けるからいいなと思って、5cmのミニベアを編んだの

小さくて細かいからすっごく神経集中させて作り上げたの少しでももえちゃんの力になれれば嬉しいな
A very very small teddy bear


This weekend, Japan has the National center Test for University Admissions. I'm very worried about the examinees' conditions because it'll be cold and snow a lot according to the weather forcast... I do hope they can do their best whatever happens!

For me, it was snowing so heavily that it was hard to go to the university to take the test when I was a high school student.

BTW, my dear girl whom I baby-sat about 6 years ago will take entrance exams for junior high school. Therefor, I made a good-luck charm for the exams with my whole heart!! It can be cell phone's accessory so she can bring it whenever it is and wherever she goes :) The bear is only 5cm so it was very difficult to knit it!!

Anyway, I hope I can encourage her with my handmade charm though we live distant places!

編み物にすっかり夢中になっていて、ブログ更新するの忘れてました（笑）

今年に入ってから編んでいた大判のショールが意外と早く完成したの

沢山のモチーフを繋いでいくものだったから、途中で挫折しないか心配していたけれど、1週間くらいで綺麗に仕上がって達成感を得られたの暖かくて重宝してるんだぁ

そして今は、Aiのキャミソールと、ママのポンチョと、ちぃちゃんのベビー用ワンピを並行して編んでるの

色々な編み方をマスター出来てすっごく楽しい

大嫌いな寒い冬も編み物のお陰で楽しく過ごせてて幸せだなぁ
My handmade shawl



Because I've been in absorbed in knitting reacently, I forgot to write this blog LOL!

Well, last Sunday I finished knitting a big shawl much quickly than I had expected ;) Maybe it took about a week.

In fact, as I had never experienced to make such a big work, I was worried whether I would give it up or not. However, I felt very happy to gain a sense of achievement when I complete it! XD

And now, I'm knitting my camisole, Mom's poncho, Chihiro's baby dress and so on ♪

Through knitting various things, I can master lots of ways of knitting and it's lots of fun!!

Anyway, I'm glad I enjoy this winter by the grace of knitting though I hate cold winter ^^♪

先週ものすごくショッキングな出来事があって立ち直るのに少し時間がかかったんだぁ

実はボランティアをしていた乳児院での養育法がAiには違和感を感じる事が沢山あって、乳児院側もAiの子どもたちへの関わり方に違和感を感じていたみたいで、ボランティアを続ける事はできなくなったの

乳児院（孤児院）での育児は、一般家庭での育児とは全然違っていて、一人ひとりに対して手厚く細やかな対応は出来ないし、職員の人たちもAiがそういう丁寧な育児をする事を望んでいない事がわかったの・・・

子どもたちが生きていく最低限の事はするけれど、それ以上は限界があるって言う事・・・

一方的にお断りされてすごく悲しかったし、苛立つ事もいっぱいあったんだぁ・・・

でも、このボランティアを出来なくなった事はAiが悪い訳ではなくて、互いのやり方や考え方が違っていただけだって事を理解できたらまた元気になれたの

何よりもママがAiの一番の味方になってくれて、Aiが気分転換して元気になれるように話を聞いてくれたり、一緒にお買い物楽しんでくれた事に感謝

今まで知らなかった世界のことを知れて、視野が広がっていい経験が出来たんだなぁって思えるようになれたんだぁ
New experience borden the mind!


Last week, I had a very shocking event and it made me so depressed so it cost a little time to make myself feel better.

In fact, when I worked at an ophans' home, I felt lots of defferences between the staffs and me. In other words, the ways of our child care were very defferent. Therefore, the ohpans' home's staffs asked me not to work there...

At the ophans' home, the staffs take care of babies very peculiarly; they don't or can't attend to each of them with a delicate affection. And I knew they hoped me not to attend to the babies so kindly and gently.

They support the ohpans to live in this world but they can't do much more like ordinary parents and families.

As I wasturned down by them one-sidely, I was very sad and got irritated so much...

However, since Mom told me that I did my best and I have faultless, I understood that this experience brought me lots of things to think and learn! And what's more, I really thank Mom did her best to make me feel better because I was very depressed :)

Anyway, I'm doing well and feel much better so please don't worry ;-)